So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it because I queefed?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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