This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
