i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
