Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
