i think my tv is drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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