Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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