She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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