Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
