Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
