My brain says no but my pants say off.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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