he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
