I want to have your abortion
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
