Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
