sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
