She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So many bounce houses so little time
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
