I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
