just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
