He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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