I heard we made out
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
