well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
