Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
