It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
