After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
