this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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