If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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