Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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