he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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