I can text with my tongue
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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