Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
