We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
