My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
