U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The uberlube is also flammable
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
