:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
