tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
