WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
