He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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