somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
