it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
