my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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