Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dignity is for republicans.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
