I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
