He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
