No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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