one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
