I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
