i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
