I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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