Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
