nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
