Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
