Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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